Tales from the LSC Part 3: A New Dimension in Boredom

Hi I'm Ed Winchester, from Winchester, Bogal and Strife.  I'm here to represent the author and originator of "Tales from the LSC", Mr Kevin Russell.  Should this publication ever come to financial gain, I'll be the one suing Mr Atkinson for all he is worth.

Since Last we met:

I wrote this sentence while reading the last issue (bloody repeats)
This sentence sponsors terrorism
The last sentence has undergone a US led regime change
This sentence may contain nuts or nut traces
This sentence was dismissed as too experimental
This sentence won a TV talent show
This sentence failed to meet 5 economic tests
This sentence was not the main source
This sentence comes in 4 fruity flavours
The above sentence has been withdrawn from stores
This sentence was the weakest link...we should’ve known paper chains wouldn’t hold an anchor

PART 2 AFTER THE BREAK

The Break

This disappointing cash in on an old show is presented by:

Bacardi Breezer - It’s like alcohol for 8 year olds

And in part by:

The Conservative Party - Whatever Tony said.

And Now a Fun Fact

For all you kids surreptitiously accessing porn on the net here’s this weeks Thing you wouldn’t know without the movies...Tatatatada (and so forth):

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. So get that Intel Centrino and you can take over the universe.

Welcome back and in order to keep our public service licence we are required to dedicate the next ten minutes to stimulating intellectual debate, so on to that age old question that has troubled man since the beginning of time....yes, the ultimate question...does the light go out when you close the glove box?

To address this question we are joined by Professor James Cross Msc, MD, PhD & GIT and a 40 watt light bulb so professor...Sorry I must stop you there we’ve just been bought by five, so instead of this enlightening debate here’s some women with big tits.
 
(Fade to black accompanied by relieved sighs from the audience) 

 Where are they now

(The Executive producer Geoff would like to acknowledge the assistance of the FBI in locating "The Group" and if you could stop reading everyone’s e mail, it’d be nice)

Andrew "DD recurring" Dixon: Working to bring down the machine from inside, once he realises Barclays don’t run the country and gets his car fixed he’ll be right on track. 

Andrew "BoB aka Chronic" Barber: Changed his MSN name. The research continues.

Phillip "Man Mountain" Young: Failed degree in order to avoid working for the MoD and being found dead in woodland. Currently available for genetic testing.

Craig "Dreggs" Atkinson: Currently acquiring the knowledge and skills necessary to sell out: Sorry, we have an update, Drinking

Kevin "Torcath" Russell: After the surgery is now spending a year dead for tax reasons (Thank You Douglas Adams)

This sentence was written when I’d finally saved up for my university top up fees.

The Preceding show contained extreme nonsense, small children and charvers may have found some references confusing.