The Cowboy Storey
 Author Unknown

A long, long time ago, there was this cowboy. He was the
roughest, toughest man around. Not only was he incredibly strong and
brave, but he was liked by nearly everyone who knew him. This story isn't
about him, though. It's about the guy who accidentally killed him. This
guy's name was Brad Reinhart.
Now, Brad, unlike the other guy, was a coward and a weakling. And
whereas the other guy was loved by everyone, Brad would have been picked
on and made fun of, that is, if anyone knew who he was.
Brad's only friend was an indian by the name of Running Nude, but
Brad just called him Rob. Brad and Rob went everywhere together and they
got into all sorts of adventures, and if those adventures had been at all
exciting, you'd be reading about them instead of what I'm about to tell
you.
It all started one winter day somewhere in the west. But we'll
get to that in a moment. First,  I would like to digress for a moment to
reply on a matter of curious interest that has been itching at the inside
of my brain. Have you ever noticed that you never see cowboys in snow? I
mean, you never see them trudging through four-foot-high snow banks on a
shivering, near-dead horse, gnawing on the last scrap of food, which also
used to be someone's foot. When bank-robbers and cattle-thieves went
north to Canada in order to escape the law, do you think they were
prepared to run into a blizzard? This question vexed me furiously, to the
point that I could no longer sleep at night, so, I did some research on
the subject.
It seems that cowboys can only grow in warmer climates and are
indigenous to areas like Texas, New Mexico, and southern California,
although, they have been known to migrate in random patterns. When a
cowboy encounters harsh climatic conditions which threaten his life, he
adapts by becoming a pioneer. Pioneers, as you may or may not know, have
the natural ability to remove all reason and hope from the most lenient
weather conditions and turn it into an apocalyptic event. This allows
them to die at any given moment without being chided and harassed by
fellow pioneers.
With that cleared up, let's return to our story...
It all started one winter day somewhere in the west. Brad and Rob
were just finishing up one of their more intensely exhilarating
adventures, and it was time for Rob to head back to the indian village to
see his wife, Stupid Bitch. So, he invited Brad to go with him. Brad
refused and Rob refused to accept his refusal. Refusing to have his
refusal refused, Brad went into a maniacal frenzy and ate Rob. But, using
an old indian trick, Rob was able to kill Brad from within his stomach. 
I know it isn't exactly the most riveting story you've ever read,
but that's the way it happened, so fuck off.